Queer is a word that has long been used by anti-gay abusers to mean homosexual, and to indicate their thoroughly despicable attitude to gay people. It can mean anything at all. Straight people are using it. Which is why it's totally useless as a label. If it wasn't also a slur I'd heard directed at me growing up, I'd still hate it. Gay has two senses.
L, G, B, T, Q, Q, I, A… what do all the letters mean?
These Violent Delights (These Violent Delights, #1) by Chloe Gong
The pang got my attention because I don't have a painful history with the word "queer. I understand and respect the word "gay" -- even as an "umbrella term" -- is not an inclusive or "appropriate" distinction for the myriad definitions of "natural inclinations" such as transgender, pansexual or polyamorous. I use "natural inclinations 'because gender identification and sexual orientation are not "preferences". I understand and respect that the word "queer" is offensive to people who have been subject to it as a slur and in tandem with violence. I also understand and respect those for whom the word "queer" is just as fine as "gay" and "own it" as a show of empowerment or a full embrace of "being unusual. My experience may be out of the norm compared to most gay people.
These Violent Delights
Some people understand the term queer and gay for same sexual relationship but there are many points that draws the fine line between queer and gay. The main difference between queer and gay is that queer is a wide term for sexual minorities that are not heterosexual or cisgender. It refers to entire LGBT community, while gay refers to a homosexual person. Queer is a wide term used for sexual and gender minorities that are not cisgender or heterosexual. It stands for anyone who wants to identify as queer and who feels somehow outside the societal norms in regards to gender or sexuality.
These are not universal definitions. This glossary is provided to help give others a more thorough but not entirely comprehensive understanding of the significance of these terms. You may even consider asking someone what they mean when they use a term, especially when they use it to describe their identity. Ultimately it is most important that each individual define themselves for themselves and therefore also define a term for themselves.